Hannah Hutchinson


grey background with light text that says "You can communicate with them. You can choose what to accept from them. You can decide what's worth it for you. But you cannot control them."

CONFLICT RESOLUTION 101: PART II | Hannah Hutchinson, founder of Your Conflict Coach and local conflict and relationship expert, guides us through one major mindset shift that can transform the way we manage conflict happening within ourselves (AKA: internal conflict):

Each and every external conflict has internal conflict at its core, preventing the people involved from reaching a resolution. So, what’s the difference? 

Despite the differences, it is crucial in both kinds of conflict to approach resolution by focusing on our own accountability, responsibility, and growth, instead of wasting energy trying to change other people’s behavior or attitudes.


A lot of my clients have a hard time understanding why we work self-first, because it can seem backwards that a significant portion of relationship work involves self-improvement. I’m here to remind you that we cannot control what other people do. It’s quite literally more efficient to work on ourselves, so we can approach the conflicts from a more elevated mindset. Improved self-awareness, empathy, and communication skills make us better at regulating emotions, adapting to changes, and breaking negative cycles – these are skills and habits that make up the foundation of our ability to manage conflict, both internal and external.

Unfortunately for us as humans, this is much easier said than done, and that’s okay! Actually sitting with the internal conflict and working through it can be extremely difficult, and it requires high levels of what we call “vulnerability with self”. Vulnerability with self is one of the most difficult things for people to do, because it requires one thing that not many of us have had the privilege to develop, that can transform the way you deal with conflict in your life, both internal and external…


A lack of self-trust significantly impacts our ability to deal with conflict in a healthy manner, because it undermines all the aspects of healthy conflict resolution, like communication skills, assertiveness, problem-solving, and boundary-setting. Because of this, building up our self-trust is the first thing I recommend for developing the resilience and confidence needed to navigate conflicts in a constructive way.

Here are some signs that a lack of self-trust is holding you back:

If these describe you, don’t panic! You’re not doomed. You’re not broken. You’re not crazy. You’re actually super normal.

As I said, most people have not had the privilege of developing a healthy level of self-trust. Improving self-trust is a personal journey that is different for each individual, but based on my coaching experience, the following 3 strategies tend to be a really good starting point for building and strengthening self-trust:

  1. Consistent Self-Alignment:
  1. Honoring Personal Boundaries:
  1. Learning and Growth Mindset:

Just like external conflict, internal conflict is inevitable, but hating it doesn’t have to be. Fearing it doesn’t have to be. Dreading it doesn’t have to be. Avoiding it doesn’t have to be. I hope this mindset shift can provide a sense of courage and self-understanding, allowing you to manage your internal conflict a little easier! 

Love always,

Hannah, Your Conflict Coach :)

Hannah Hutchinson, Your Conflict Coach, young white woman with shoulder-length brown wavy hair smiles away from the camera in front of a clear sky, in a light green shirt.
Hannah Hutchinson, M.A. | Founder, Coach, Podcast Host

ABOUT THE AUTHOR | Hannah is a local communication expert and conflict coach, helping people develop conflict resolution skills, emotional intelligence, and relationship competency, so we can all live happier, more peaceful lives with those we love AND those we tolerate. She’s passionate about making this information accessible to everyone, so you can find more tips and tricks on her social media, and she hosts a podcast called “Secrets of a Conflict Coach”! By contributing to NWAGG, she hopes to reach more beautiful souls & spread the art of peaceful living to more people who crave it!

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